I COULD GET USED TO IT

you've no idea how much secrets i've been keeping,
from everyone far and close.
you've no idea really.
and when you feel like sharing and its exploding in you,
you remembered you cross your heart, and yes hope to die.

guess i had it crashed cos i don't quite believe in what i wrote anymore =/ and just yesterday i walked out of school with my head up and mighty, ogling the stars.
i mananged to count ten but derrick thinks i'm retarded cos he couldn't see any.
awww you've no idea how pretty it is and it made my awful, sunken, miserable, dark and cold day bright.
cheeesee friesss(: and i played with the cute kitten that got me ohhhing and ahhhing. it's called faiz? faziz? faris? i have my own galaxy at night right in my comfort zone with notes from me to you <3
you are just like a stranger and when it comes to shooting stars i've seen a few, but i've never seen anything as beautiful as you <3

wake very morning and thank God for you. silly, yes, but aren't we all silly cos our hearts don't lie. they lie they do but they break like hell

mug hard dear ones, mug hard. love

WALK DOWN THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD

till i find the answer my heart wants

just last saturday i slept at a whooping three... doing absolutely nothing.
i had my notes right infront of me and the player blasting VERY loudly.

but my mind wasn't quite present and god knows why didnt i decide to go online and have a productive conversation with people who'd could at the right time for now, finally, fill me with something to laugh or sane about.

so all the while i was stoning and lost and down for no rythm or reason and probably wondering where my dumb phone went to;

under the blanks, maybe(again).

and when i finally found it, it was a disappointment.

took random pictures of any tiny thing in my room and they all look significant, forsakened but nicely found.

and than i realised maybe i need the lens, to help me find answers my heart yearns for.

the missing piece that till now, with all the people around me i've no idea who,what,where.

so i fed myself with whatever i can find in the room, and yes i eat alot and i'm always hungry.

right now, i'm frustrated and the hunger gets me wild and i crave for prata and shashimi.

not really prata but shashimi. yes i want shashimi pretty please?

somemore late pictures of the week.

and maybe you'd hear from me after three sweet weeks of no social life and misery.

i promise i won't,

you're right but not right cos my heart lies.

STAINED CHEEKS

i have no rythm or reason for feeling low,

but i am now and god knows why :/ like when you feel the distance but you tell yourself you're almost there.

self denial or factual ego? doesn't quite matter they're all the same.

this was just last year when i had the time to do such things. pity.

dinner just now was good and i got home and slept from a whopping seven to nine.

i'm done with gp research and i should go off now.

night world, tmr will be a better day(:, i hope.

KEEP FOLDING YOU LIKE PAPER HEARTS

i get over and sorted out with.and so i walked under the rain and i told myself i'd get over it,
for my lovely pillars in s09,
for my beautiful hockey mates,
for my listening ears(you know who you guys are),
for myself and myself, work hard!chienhui wrote me a lovely note that was totally hilarious and very anyhow okay.
the pride part's true though(: not the rest. ha
and if you're wondering what's with the chinese words, apparently i didn't know what they meant until mock chi.
that teacher kept going suuujinnngg! and i'm like wth is that.
in case you don't know, check the dict.
i am deprived socially, esp at night.
guess college does what it made to be and somehow, i chose this silly path.
so dear audrey stop thinking about np and stop procrastinating aye?
tough road indeed.
and i miss times with manda and how town was coolshit and how we took eons to find a lunch outlet.
cam whore, giggled at silly thinks, comment on guys we seee, bought many clothes and did the silliest things ever.
what about feesh and stef? i still want the late suppers at beauty world, the night sprees in town and stayovers.
it's coming back soon right? yes it's coming back.

Then my heart did time in Siberia and if it hurts, i'll keep folding you like paper hearts

GLASS, THEY SHATTER.

hello pretties!
i feel nice in short hair now(:

They`re like chocolate cake
Like cigarettes
I know they're bad for me
But I just can't leave 'em alone

you know how amazing it is that lyrics of songs can portray how you feel,
they can make you cry, make you fly, make you everything nice.
i feel so drained by everything these days i feel emo and emo and emo.

i have math tests to study for, chem to swallow and hopefully digest.
and i'm doing silly things like editing this post when its alr 240707.
its 1829 and i'm going to have a nap!

enough of the eye contacts,
its bringing me nowhere.

goodbye world, goodbye for now.

that bastard did nothing but edited only the proposal i typed out,
didn't help much but sweared and whined like a dog.
yes i know i was late but i wasnt even home to go online!
getting on my nerves i swear. attitude stinks.
i'm pissed and yes i'm pissed.
you don't realise the certain things you say can hurt and i'm not applying it to myself.
i swear a number can agree. your smirk alek replies and your corny talks.
if you're desperate find yourself in the right place before you shoot.
it may help. will help alot.
you make me fee like crying, you make me feel like shouting.
fuck the anger, i dont need it now.
thanks deb for asking if i needed help and zy for the survey.

its a zombie 0027 on a wednesday,
and i'm mentally preparing myself to sprint for the gate l8r before it closes.
MORNING RUNS, INDEED.
goodnight world once again, i'm finally done with written report's proposal and carnival proposal.

UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

like one by one it starts coming.... on conservative days!

first the blind dumb man and the bitch got my blood boiling.
then poor charles' aunt's hospitalised and he had to book into ns.
now my aunt is down with cervical cancer.
please pray for them i hope?

the pretty sky starts turning its colour and i wonder when it'll start to light.
my world's a sudden twirl with worries for myself and the people around me.

how much i tell myself to stop procrastinating and study study but the words on the notes seem to enter and leave like they pay a bill.

enjoy the recent posts below

BUMMER

so maybe youth conference isn't a YES cos the first thing my parents think about is the MONEY to fork out to travel to thailand and the UNSAFE fact about the country now.
it's so bullshit and frustrating since i never thought of my parents as an obstacle.
LOOK at the experience and the things i'm going to bring back.
and its not like travelling with family,
i get to really enjoy since i have a all so serious and prim proper daddy.
i guess my youth wouldn't be as exciting and enriching anyway.
maybe mopping the floor and getting straight As interest them ALOT.

i have school tmr.
maybe it'll make my tiring and mundane life more exciting
(:
not the study part though.
i haven't understood a thing.

grumbles.

DECO REPLACES CNY

not really. just exaggerating (:

deco for lent gonna be rushed.
shhessh

yours <3

my eyes didn't leave the moon.
it kept going and going.

it started running away.
running away.
running away.....

from me.

sometimes goodbye though it hurts
is the only way to destiny.
goodbye GODPA.
and GODMA you'll be fine i hope.
i'd be your pillar whenever you'll need one.
cos i know somehow it's not going to be easy for you.

so fast,
a day has past,
and i feel all alone.

LOVES <3

the rash is of unspeakable redness,
painful and itchy like a thousand mosquitoes have caught me by surprise.
awful and unsightly.
had better heal soon.
been like years since i had this terrible.
damn